What's with the Funky Shades?

Okay, do some of you remember the craze over Vuarnet glacier glasses in the early 80s? It precipitated an onslaught of knock-offs. I had a pair that coordinated marvellously with my checkerboard Vans and powder jacket. Don't dis... if you were "totally rad" you had a pair.

Warren Miller and other ski film icons displayed them on the big screen, tabloids followed movie stars to ski resorts wearing them, and MTV paraded the exorbitantly-priced shades.

Behind (or beyond) the fad is a purely functional explanation. Vuarnet, Bolle and Julbo are prominant European companies that have been making performance sunglasses for Alps mountaineers since the 1800s. Today, technology has improved performance, but the function is the same, and mountaineers still wear glacier glasses. Here's the basic science behind real glacier glasses:

* Polycarbonate lenses: light, impact resistant and very good optical clarity
* Nylon frames: These are light, impact resistant, and don't transfer cold like metal frames.
* Reduced light tranmission to 10% or less. Reflections off snow can burn the retina severely. On the mountain, light bounces in every direction. I've been burned beneath my beard and I know of someone who was sunburned on the roof of his mouth. Seriously! Intensity increases at altitude as less atmospheric filtering occurs. As a note, glacier glasses are typically so dark that they should not be worn for driving.
* UV protection: must be 100% (UVB and UVA increases significantly at altitude and leads to cataracts, macular degeneration and eye cancer)
* Mirrored lenses rather than polarized: Polarization blocks horizontal light waves (ie. lakes, roads). Mountains and slopes reflect light at various angles. Mirrored coatings reflect multidirectionally.
* Side shields: these block direct and indirect glare as well as wind and debris, similar to goggles. They are found in leather, poly or integrated into the frame.
* Grippy nosepieces, temples and ears: They do not slip on and off easily. They are made to stay on. Alpine climbers need both hands and cannot spare safety to push glasses back on their faces.
* Leashes/retainers: This is generally a poly cord that connects to the arms, preventing the glasses from falling to oblivion. They also keep glasses closely accessible.

A good pair will sink you between $50-150, but you can pay upwards of $400 if you are a fashionista. On the mountain, when you smell like last week's trash, and your life teeters on a slim knife edge, I feel like you get to define what's cool... so wear what works best!